AXIS Dance Company in "Divide." Photo by Andrea Basille.
Hometown: Moraga, CA
Current city: Oakland, CA
Age: 34
College and degree: Amherst College, BA Psychology
How you pay the bills: I teach dance at Bentley Upper School in Lafayette, Shawl-Anderson Dance Center in Berkeley, and Frog Hollow Preschool in Berkeley. I’m also Rehearsal Director for AXIS Dance Company, a freelance dancer, and a yoga teacher.
All of the dance hats you wear: See above plus the big hat of dance student
Non-dance work you do: I teach 1 yoga class a week
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Describe your dance life....
5 years after college: I was not dancing at all. I was in a “you can’t” phase, something I battled with in my late teens and early 20s. Getting trapped in the mindset of not being good enough prevented me from receiving the joy dancing brought to me growing up. I did not go to college to study dance, but while I was there I fell in love with Afro-Caribbean styles, particularly Cuban and Haitian dance. What was so significant for me was that these forms of dance were not performative; they were participatory. It was important for me to be part of something that was about community and being together in common expressions of humanity, and not about being seen as someone with special skills. I danced here and there after college in NYC, combined with lots of waitressing and other odd jobs (the most interesting being a reader of the Sunday NY Times to a blind professor on the Upper East Side). My soul searching got me interested in yoga. I met a wonderful teacher. He hired me as his assistant, so at age 26 I packed up from NY and spent the next two years traveling the world studying and teaching yoga with him. It was during that time away from NY and away from dance, with massive amounts of self-introspection, that I realized I needed to be dancing.
10 years after college: After moving back to the Bay Area, I took class as much as possible and re-connected with the wonderful Shawl-Anderson Dance Center (I took modern classes there in high school). I did front desk work at the studio and at the encouragement of a friend began teaching. I danced for many local choreographers including Nina Haft, Mo Miner, Jessica Damon, Chris Black, and Lizz Roman. When I was 31 I was hired by AXIS Dance Company, a physically integrated dance company with performers with and without disabilities. I can’t even say it was a dream come true, because dancing full-time for a company that toured nationally was never something I even dreamed about. Having the strong point of view that each person has a right to feel and express his or her unique embodiment, I was perfectly aligned with AXIS’s mission statement and political point of view. It was incredible to not only get a job with a fantastic dance company but also to be doing work that felt significant in changing the public’s perception about who can dance and what dance looks like.
AXIS Dance Company in "Terre Brune." Photo by Elizabeth Vienneau. Left - Juliana Monin, right - Bonnie Lewkowicz.
What’s on your plate for the next year?
Let me start with this year because it’s been a big one! I was offered more work at the high school and could not pass up that opportunity, so I stopped dancing with AXIS. I am excited to be putting more attention onto my work as an educator. I am also interested in steering my own dance training more and pursuing my own interests in terms of how I want to dance, what I want to value, and whom I want to dance with. I am working on projects with Randee Paufve and Risa Jaroslow, two fiercely intelligent women who are bringing more out of me than I thought I had! But more important than all of those changes, is that this summer I got married to my love! So, this coming year, in addition to reveling in married life and hopefully soon family life, I’m really looking to settle into my role at my school. I will be on campus more this year and in addition to organizing the school’s first ever dance concert, I hope to gain more visibility on campus by engaging students in dance opportunities outside of the curriculum.
What are your strengths as a performer?
I find power in being vulnerable. I really feel things when I’m dancing on stage and connect to the movement on an emotional level; even when dancing a “role” or “type” or story that is far from mine, I always find myself in it. This might mean I am incredibly empathetic or self-centered.
What do you love about performing?
I love the camaraderie and trust and mutual support between performers on stage. One of the best things about being with AXIS was that we spent so much time together- improvising, making work, rehearsing, traveling together. It was such a gift to have all that time and we couldn’t have done what we did without loving each other. It’s an incredible feeling to be on stage and know you are taken care of by your colleagues. I also love the challenge of the present moment.. How to do something that is totally planned but keep it absolutely alive. To still allow the present moment- the circumstances around you, your connection with the audience- to inform what you do. I find this duality thrilling.
I go to class a lot. In fact when I decided to return to dancing it really was just about making sure I could go to class. I knew if I had a life that ensured I could take dance classes occasionally, I would be happy. And I love taking class. I love my teachers. I love dancing with my peers and cheering each other on. I love learning material and dancing in ways that aren’t necessarily instinctual to me. This will sound a little silly but I believe the most important thing I do to care for my body is to let my body care for me! And by that I mean I give myself time every morning to be quiet and be with myself. I listen to what I need. My yoga practice is very personal to me. It is simple moving and breathing. Nothing exaggerated. Just being intimate with myself, my feelings, my sensations. I injured my back 2 years ago and spent a lot of time seeking answers and looking for people to figure it out and tell me what to do to fix it. While I found and continue to find a lot of great and necessary help from a variety of practitioners, I believe nothing can be as effective as your connection to yourself. So I think in addition to doing a lot of things to myself (taking class, cross training) and having things done on myself (rolfing, osteopathy, massage, PT) it’s also important to just be with yourself.
Can you share about the process of getting into AXIS Dance Company? How many years did you dance with AXIS? What were some of the highlights?
The company held an audition for a non-disabled female dancer. We learned a particularly physical section of choreography from Light Shelter by David Dorfman full of wild jumps and big turns. We also spent a lot of time improvising in fairly open scores (meaning almost no guidance or structure), which at the time I found terrifying. Within a few weeks there was a callback and it was down to 5 of us. This audition focused on partnering and rapport and we learned excerpts from 3 duets, each involving one of the disabled dancers. I had never touched a wheelchair before and remember being so moved by the generosity of the dancers in letting us eager novices fumble and stumble while getting acquainted with working with new bodies and equipment. I could feel how much the dancers in the company cared for each other and that left a big impression on me. Within a few weeks I was asked to join the company and said yes with no hesitation. I danced with AXIS for 3 years. During that time I performed pieces by Marc Brew, David Dorfman, Victoria Marks, Sonya Delwaide, Alex Ketley, and Yvonne Rainer. My favorite times with the company were when we were making work. I love being in process and working with choreographers to help answer their questions and fulfill their visions. I love having tasks to work out and getting to improvise with other dancers. My voice gets heard and lives on in these pieces and that’s such a powerful feeling- to have contributed to something bigger than myself Now I am happy to continue my relationship with AXIS as the company’s rehearsal director for three pieces that are currently in rep. Because the company commissions choreographers from outside the company, often once a piece is created, we do not see the choreographer again. So it is my job to rehearse the pieces with the dancers and prepare them for touring.
On teaching:
Teaching is artistic and teaching is activism. Good teaching can change the world.
Current passions and curiosities:
Gardening! This year we tried straw bale gardening and we are enjoying food from our yard nearly every night.
Last performance you saw that really inspired you:
A few weeks ago I saw a performance of Tongues/Gather by Dandelion Dance Theater. This is a piece that has been worked and reworked many times, with many iterations, but this was my first time seeing it. It blew me away. It gave me a whole new perspective on inclusivity. It was so clear to me that the piece could never be the same depending on the cast and logistics and material, because each performer was essential. It felt so raw and alive yet so contained in that each person held space for everyone else.
Final advice to young dancers:
Get to know yourself and as much as possible disregard all the messages telling you that you have to look a certain way or move a certain way to be a dancer. The more you can infuse yourself into everything you do, the more meaningful it will be to you and the more interesting it will be to someone watching you.
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